I was looking at a video of myself deadlifting recently and as I was watching, I realized something important. People often ask me how I’m so confident and how I accept my body. I think my body looks DOPE, first of all, so that makes it easy - but, I was looking at the video of me deadlifting and you can see my FUPA (Fat Upper Pubic/Pussy Area) in my leggings really easily and I suddenly realized I just DON’T CARE. You can see my FUPA and I don’t care.
I don’t care that it’s there and I don’t care what other people might think of it.
Some people see that and see me embrace it or not even acknowledge it and think it doesn’t bother me. While that is true, I did not always feel that way. I used to be really insecure about how I looked and something highlighted like a FUPA, which you could say is a moment when I look a little “chunky,” would bother me a LOT. What I’ve come to realize, however, is that there is a way to move past your insecurities so you can start to learn to love your body.
To get past your own insecurities, I think there are TWO THINGS you need to do:
1. You have to know what is important to you and how to prioritize things.
For me - I’m never worried about how I look and I am ALWAYS focused on how much I’m lifting. I’m never worried about how someone thinks I look. Instead, I’m always thinking about how nice I can be to people, how I can be valuable to them, how I can listen to them, or how I can be a good friend.
2. Choose the people whose opinions matter/are valuable to you, and focus on getting feedback from them. Ignore the people/opinions that are not important to you.
Some people may think I don’t care what other people think and that’s not true - I do. There are just very few people whose opinions matter to me. These people are Ryan and my mom.
Ryan is my coach and my boyfriend; he is the person I spend the most time with so I really value what he thinks about me - not only with regard to training, but also in life. I value his feelings and our relationship, therefore, I care about how I can make him happy and proud both as his girlfriend and his athlete.
My mom is also someone whose opinion I value, and whose relationship is important to me. She cares about me and has my best interests in mind, so I value her feedback as well.
Strangers on the internet - I don’t care what they think. They don’t mean anything to me, they’re not important to me. My boyfriend, my coach, my mom - I care what they think, I want to make them proud, and it’s important that I have them think critically of what I’m doing and who I am so that I’m not being an idiot. And I know for a fact that these people do not give a SHIT if I have a big FUPA while I’m deadlifting. They even think it’s cool.